Narcy

I'm heartbroken because my friend at work is leaving, and I feel really sad about it. I tried to discourage her by pointing out that finding remote work these days is quite difficult. The work-from-home market has become saturated, making the competition intense and the hiring process much longer. Many people, especially those who used to work for BPO companies, are fed up with office politics and the toxic environment. Everyone just wants to avoid commuting and work from the comfort of their homes.

Speaking of working with difficult colleagues, one of her main reasons for leaving was because of a very challenging teammate. I completely understand her feelings, as I share the same sentiment. This colleague is the epitome of a narcissist, and in all my years of employment, I've never encountered someone quite like this. It was surprising to come across such a personality in a remote work environment.

This colleague of ours doesn’t listen to anyone. She thinks she’s the best and considers everyone else to be incompetent. When you point out her mistakes, she goes into full defensive mode, acting as if she’s under attack by an invisible enemy. I strongly believe that growth comes from being open to feedback and constructive criticism. When you're new in a job, you need to approach it with a clean slate, setting aside past experiences and ego to facilitate learning and improvement.

From the beginning, I sensed something was off about this person. When one of our teammates corrected her, she became defensive and mentioned that she used to be a "Project Manager," even though no one asked. Our teammate let it slide to avoid conflict, displaying true resilience. I used to be a Mediation/Case Manager for a UK-based e-commerce company, but I never brought it up because it wasn't relevant. Mentioning past roles as a defense mechanism is simply bragging and trying to assert dominance, which is unnecessary and unprofessional.

As time went on, she started personally attacking me by criticizing my approach to resolving issues at work. This, of course, irked me. As an INFJ (see my previous blog post), I adhere to the "doorslam" approach: when we're fed up with someone who has tested our patience, we ignore them and, in extreme cases, consider them "dead." While I don't consider her entirely dead, I view her as a zombie because her work is full of loopholes. Despite this, I try my best to remain diplomatic, though I'm on the verge of snapping.

Things escalated when she backstabbed me without my knowledge, causing my friend to flare up and confront her, leading to their argument. Thankfully, it's a remote setup, or I might have had to mediate between them, much like I did in college when breaking up a catfight between friends, which left me with a few scratches. When my friend confronted her about her mistakes, Narcy (a nickname for our narcissistic colleague) complained that I needed "coaching" because my approach was "different," which made me laugh given her disorganized and sloppy work. She wastes company funds on unauthorized services and leaves incomplete notes in case files.

I've noticed more of my tenured teammates leaving, likely because they don't want to work with her, although they never admitted it. Actions speak louder than words. I, too, would like her out, as she's extremely difficult and toxic. I thought only my friend and I felt this way until I heard through the grapevine that many of our teammates have noticed she consistently leaves incomplete case notes, lacks accountability, and prefers to blame others, leaving the mess for the rest of us to sweep.

People like her disrupt my calm, but she's not worth my hate, time, or energy. I have better things to focus on than dealing with narcissistic individuals who think they're always right while their key performance indicators suggest otherwise. I'm just saddened to lose a friend who I could confide in when times were tough. However, I always want those who are dear to me to be happy, wherever life may take them.