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It's just rueful to hear about well-known personalities who chose to end their lives due to overwhelming grief even before the year ends. I know the approaching holiday season has triggered some to do the unthinkable because the year feels like eternity when you're not in touch with those people who matter to you, that, a simple phone call seems too difficult just to check on their loved ones if they are doing ok. I don't understand why most people these days don't talk anymore. If I were to go back, I would still choose those days when people still talk over the phone, in person or write each other snail mails.
These days, you rarely see people face to face except during family reunions yet most people end up regretting ever joining because it tends to become a ground for nosy kins who just cannot leave their mostly single and unmarried, childless relatives alone because they can't wrap their heads around the fact that many beautiful and successful people refuse to get married these days due to many reasons. Family reunions can be quite toxic sometimes because of the endless comparison of achievements of one after another, after another. Little did many of our old folks know, such unpleasantries can take a toll on someone's mental health and make an individual question or reflect their life choices during their alone time and they, all of a sudden doubt themselves as to why they are alone or not have kids yet or unsuccessful unlike the others and so on and so forth. My advise? Elude instances like this and save yourself from regret because you always have a choice. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and aren't toxic.
Contrary to what idealists people say that single individuals aren't happy because they are alone, I guess it's just about having a strong support system or having people around who will always keep your well-being and mental health in check. I am single myself yet I am not bothered by my choices in life so I can't wrap my head around why other people (mostly kins) are bothered by it and make unnecessary comments such as 'ah what a waste of pretty genes!' as if there is a race of some sort and there's a rush to get to the finish line! I know every parent wants their kids to settle down and have a family of their own so they won't be alone when they're gone. But, what if you are one of the rare ones whose mindset isn't aligned with what the society considers as normal? I always believe in being happy with your own life choices and not give in to what the people around you want because it's not their life, you will traverse through life on your own and they can guide you for as long as they want but at the end of the day, it's always you and not them who will deal with the consequences of your decisions. Why bother with those who claim to know what's best for you when you understand yourself better than anyone else possibly could?
In this era of cyberspace, always make sure to still talk to people who understand you and know you more than anybody else such as your family (provided they aren't toxic). Oftentimes whenever I feel down and low, I talk to my siblings for hours, I know sometimes, my pains don't delight them but the feeling that someone listens to your ramblings means the world to you and you feel better when they give you life advice, it seems to help a lot in aligning your life choices because even if you're already an adult, no matter how smart you feel you are, another input from those who knew you since childhood is very valuable. I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes but when you're being one you know your family still loves you regardless.
So, don't bottle up your feelings when you feel like the world has tumbled down on you, talk to a loved one who's willing to listen and avoid keeping things to yourself because trust me, that's not gonna help and it's dangerous to be in solitude when you're not ok. Do not underestimate the capacity of those around you who might be willing to listen to you, all you ever need is to ask. I am not a people person myself and I prefer to be alone because too much noise around me disrupts the natural order of things in my life but I refuse to be alone when I am sad or I feel like I need to get something out of my chest, call a friend, call someone who will help you steer things clearly.
As an end note, always check on your loved ones and tell them how much you love them or if you're not the type who likes to verbalize things, at least make them feel they are loved and that you're here for them.
Cheers and happy holidays!
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