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My Mom with my niece Gab on photo when she
was still a baby.. |
It's been couple of years since my Mom's passing and our family home never felt so empty since she left. My sister and I only come home during our days off from work to pay our house a visit every week. We have four dogs guarding our massive house along the highway and the house was left under our elder sibling's care since after our Mom passed on.
A lot of things went on over the last two years. My eldest sister who now lives at our empty house studied driving and now good at it although our Mom probably would approve of her driving if she was still alive but not her driving like a speed freak. My twin sister and including our eldest sister in the family all underwent surgery (Laparoscopic Cholesystectomy) to rid off our gall stones (yes it is genetic) and myself an RAI. Our Mom always felt terrible when she was still alive whenever someone in our family gets sick so just imagine how she must've felt when we all went through surgery. My twin sister had her surgery same year as I was whilst our eldest sister just a few months ago.
The year of her passing, we've been having visitations of her in our dreams. She would constantly remind us to take care of each other, most especially our Dad. We spent our growing years with our Mom because our Dad was busy with work stuff, getting assigned to various places in the country because he held a good position with the national government back them which required him to be relocated. He worked for the government for thirty years and we were already all grown up when he retired. When our Mom passed away we lost our mediator, she often ask our Dad whenever we need something for school when we were kids, she was always there during our recognition day, school programs, report card day and every singing contests my twin sissie and I won etcetera. We just started to get to know our father better when our Mom died.
A year before she left, my twin sister and I adopted a ginger cat to scare of mice infesting our flat. It was an old flat so what do we expect? We named him Atari and took care of him for over six months. When he was already growing up it came to a point wherein we needed to move to a different flat thus we decided to send him off to our parents house to our Mom's delight. We thought it was the best thing to do so Atari would have a bigger space to play. He became our Mom's pet eventually although we made it a point that we are still responsible for his cat food even up to now. Atari was special to our Mom that in one of my sister's dreams our Mom even included Atari there. My sister saw fishes frolicking in the water where Atari was which might've meant that we should always feed him fish like she used to do when she was still alive. We finished our Mom's memoir that same year and according to my twin sister when we handed the memoir to our Mom in her dream, our Mom weeped and she said that she will always be around even if she's already gone. True to her word, It always felt like when there's bad things bound to happen we often elude them as if some guardian angel is by our side no matter what.
My twin sister and I traveled two countries these past two years, all during our birthdays. Our Mom once told us to always have our passports ready in case a war sparks. We remembered she said this due to the ongoing territorial disputes between the Philippines and China which we thought was kind of funny but later on realized anything is possible. We made her a promise to travel for as much as we could thus last April we went to Hong Kong because that was the destination she wanted to go a year before she left.
We miss our Mom so much but it's aways selfish to not let someone go because of your own unhappiness. She devoted her whole life to us and I don't remember any single day of my life that she was not there for any of us. The best mother in the world. It was a month before her birthday when she left this world and I've always thought that her passing was the best gift God has given her so she could share her spot in heaven where the best gets theirs first. Happy second Mom. I don't want to weave grief with her passing but happiness for her eternal life. Earth is no match for heaven.
I spent my days off from work here in the flat because I have been feeling a bit nauseous and tired lately. I just decided to spend my days watching DVDs and getting ample rest. Work is a drag as always and It's been pretty busy in the office lately which I always despised. I have been feeling down and low lately plus my lack of hormones perhaps is making me a little manic depressive. Gadh. I want to get away because being a homebody sometimes makes me sick.
Anyways, to breath some fresh air, I decided to go for a morning jog at the grotto walking distance from our flat to offer a prayer and light candles, along with it to ask for God's aid in battling with my unhappiness with work and all. I am burn out in short. I also thought that jogging might alleviate me from my dizziness and under the weather state. A little exercise is always good for body, mind and soul. So, I prayed to Our Lady of Lourdes and also thanked God for every good things there is asked assistance from them to free me from all the negative energy there is that's been clouding me lately because of my condition. Call it medication and all its side effects.
I saw that the Chapel is all finished It was so beautiful that you could see the trees and view natures beauty from the inside. The Pine tree's hanging branches even made the view more dramatic and serene. I sat for a long time inside the chapel and marvel at its beauty and simplicity. I talked to my departed Mom in silence (two days ago was her 2nd year death anniversary) I asked her how she's been and I hope she's happy. The chapel for a second felt like my solitary nook. My worry is just towards the stormy days, I hope It is able to withstand storms as it's too pretty to be damaged by nature. I am hoping it's not. The Grotto felt so tranquil when there's no one around snapping pictures. I hate it when people make a sacred ground like a tourist spot. I know the Grotto is a tourist destination but I hope people won't forget that a chapel is now housed there, a place to meditate and pray, talk to God in silence. 
