Wolf

I don't want to come across as a b*tch, but I can be from time to time, especially if my patience is being tested and my resilience has run out. My level of patience has certain layers to it; I even have buffers, to be honest. However, the moment it runs out, I can also be ruthless. It takes too much to bring out the worst in me. 

I really hate being bombarded by direct messages, especially during my time off from work. It triggers me, more so if it’s coming from a narcissistic person I despise. This is related to my previous post about a colleague at work who loves to pick on me. Just because I am ignoring her doesn’t mean I am passive. I just hate getting stressed out over superficial things that are not worthy of my time. As I always say, the world has bigger problems than mine. However, if it becomes non-stop, I can shift from a sheep to a wolf real quick. People like her are beginning to take a toll on my mental health and trigger my anxiety. I have ample self-control and refuse to take part in nonsensical "battle of the ego" crap. But because she bothered me with triggering messages during my day off, I had to respond in a "bitchy" manner because I've had enough. If she plays the victim, she better be my guest. I’m not going to be nice to her this time.

I try to keep an open mind, especially towards people who dominate the meek and quiet ones. I believe these people behave this way as a response to trauma, likely because they were treated poorly in the past. Instead of breaking the cycle, they perpetuate it. People who are defensive often feel they weren’t good enough or smart enough, hence their high guard and constant defense mechanism. However, any introverted individual whose peace feels invaded would retaliate, especially if their intelligence is being challenged by someone who thinks highly of themselves. That’s a different story altogether, no matter how physically, emotionally and mentally taxing it may be, I’m not going to shrug it off.

Narcy

I'm heartbroken because my friend at work is leaving, and I feel really sad about it. I tried to discourage her by pointing out that finding remote work these days is quite difficult. The work-from-home market has become saturated, making the competition intense and the hiring process much longer. Many people, especially those who used to work for BPO companies, are fed up with office politics and the toxic environment. Everyone just wants to avoid commuting and work from the comfort of their homes.

Speaking of working with difficult colleagues, one of her main reasons for leaving was because of a very challenging teammate. I completely understand her feelings, as I share the same sentiment. This colleague is the epitome of a narcissist, and in all my years of employment, I've never encountered someone quite like this. It was surprising to come across such a personality in a remote work environment.

This colleague of ours doesn’t listen to anyone. She thinks she’s the best and considers everyone else to be incompetent. When you point out her mistakes, she goes into full defensive mode, acting as if she’s under attack by an invisible enemy. I strongly believe that growth comes from being open to feedback and constructive criticism. When you're new in a job, you need to approach it with a clean slate, setting aside past experiences and ego to facilitate learning and improvement.

From the beginning, I sensed something was off about this person. When one of our teammates corrected her, she became defensive and mentioned that she used to be a "Project Manager," even though no one asked. Our teammate let it slide to avoid conflict, displaying true resilience. I used to be a Mediation/Case Manager for a UK-based e-commerce company, but I never brought it up because it wasn't relevant. Mentioning past roles as a defense mechanism is simply bragging and trying to assert dominance, which is unnecessary and unprofessional.

As time went on, she started personally attacking me by criticizing my approach to resolving issues at work. This, of course, irked me. As an INFJ (see my previous blog post), I adhere to the "doorslam" approach: when we're fed up with someone who has tested our patience, we ignore them and, in extreme cases, consider them "dead." While I don't consider her entirely dead, I view her as a zombie because her work is full of loopholes. Despite this, I try my best to remain diplomatic, though I'm on the verge of snapping.

Things escalated when she backstabbed me without my knowledge, causing my friend to flare up and confront her, leading to their argument. Thankfully, it's a remote setup, or I might have had to mediate between them, much like I did in college when breaking up a catfight between friends, which left me with a few scratches. When my friend confronted her about her mistakes, Narcy (a nickname for our narcissistic colleague) complained that I needed "coaching" because my approach was "different," which made me laugh given her disorganized and sloppy work. She wastes company funds on unauthorized services and leaves incomplete notes in case files.

I've noticed more of my tenured teammates leaving, likely because they don't want to work with her, although they never admitted it. Actions speak louder than words. I, too, would like her out, as she's extremely difficult and toxic. I thought only my friend and I felt this way until I heard through the grapevine that many of our teammates have noticed she consistently leaves incomplete case notes, lacks accountability, and prefers to blame others, leaving the mess for the rest of us to sweep.

People like her disrupt my calm, but she's not worth my hate, time, or energy. I have better things to focus on than dealing with narcissistic individuals who think they're always right while their key performance indicators suggest otherwise. I'm just saddened to lose a friend who I could confide in when times were tough. However, I always want those who are dear to me to be happy, wherever life may take them.

MBTI INFJT

Sometimes, it's like a breath of fresh air to talk to someone who is on the same wavelength as you, whether they share your generation, personality, or traits. It feels like you just click without needing to know or ask personal questions. Once, during a slow day at work, I spoke with a colleague who I had known since I was a newbie at the company. Despite not knowing much about each other except our ages, origins, and a bit about our past jobs, we became good friends. We confide in each other about work and sometimes discuss music, nostalgia, and pop culture.

She once mentioned how she finds public speaking daunting and being around people challenging, which I could relate to. I told her I shared her sentiments because I am an introvert. She then asked me what my MBTI** type was, which confused me until I remembered a test I took in the past. I replied that I am an INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging), and she revealed that she is too! It was a relief to find someone of my kind, even though we might differ in our subtypes. I turned out to be an INFJ-T (Turbulent) which is not as bad as it may sound, I'll explain further later. The INFJ personality type is actually rare, making up only about 1% of the population.

So, what is an INFJ? I'll share some insights from an article on Forbes Health:

**INFJ Type Strengths:**

- Creativity

- Strong ethical values and beliefs

- Altruism

- Compassion and empathy

- Inspiration and support for others

**INFJ Type Weaknesses:**

(and how it applies to me)

- Sensitivity to criticism (depending on how it's expressed, if its constructive or demeaning)

- Overly self-critical (true for me, but not excessively)

- Difficulty opening up to others (yes i'm a very private person)

- Easily bored with ordinariness (absolutely)

- Prone to burnout due to passion and perfectionism (yes, hate to admit but burnout is life for me)

- Stubbornness (I admit, 'No' means 'Yes')

 Common INFJ traits include compassion, idealism, sensitivity, and being reserved. There are two subtypes: assertive advocate (INFJ-A) and turbulent advocate (INFJ-T). INFJ-As are confident and relaxed, while INFJ-Ts experience more self-doubt and anxiety.

I fall under the INFJ-T category because everything mentioned above is true for the "Turbulent Advocate" subtype. I think my coworker/friend might be an INFJ-A because she's always composed, even when things are bad. You wouldn't even know she's upset. For instance, one time we had to resolve a seemingly impossible task at work. I didn't know she was already bawling until she told me while I thought all along she was just joking lol, as we communicate only through this workspace messaging system.

Honestly, I may be an INFJ-T, which is normal but rare. Despite my lack of chattiness, most people find me hilarious—maybe my sense of humor is just crazy or amusing to others. On a serious note, knowing your personality type is beneficial because it helps you understand yourself better, especially if you're feeling confused or out of place. It's not bad to be unique and rare, even if you feel like a goat in a flock of sheep...or something. 🙄

**The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) Step I is based on Carl Jung's theory of psychological type. It indicates your personality preferences in four dimensions: Where you focus your attention – Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I) The way you take in information – Sensing (S) or INtuition (N)